A few months back I heard a segment on the radio about creating a personal team. What the speaker meant is connecting with people and creating a team that will help you feel inspired, give you a kick up the you know what if you need one or be your cheerleaders.
The segment also reminded me of many articles I had read in the past that promote removing negative people from your life and surrounding yourself with positive influences that motivate you to be your best self.
Remove the negative people, or not.
While I agree with the sentiment around the ridding yourself of that which does not help you grow, in theory it can be quite challenging. Firstly, I am not talking about toxic, abusive relationships and I’d like to make that very clear. What I am referring to is there may be people in your life that are not on the same positivity plane as you are.
This could be for a number of reasons, they may be suffering from a mental condition, anxiety or depression and they may be close to you, like a sibling, spouse, child, parent or close friend. If that is the case, should we then disregard them because they don’t align to our need for motivation and growth.
Or what if they are just in a rut, we’ve all been in one. I’ve had my share of negative attitudes, would it be fair for me to be dismissed because someone dear to me needed to feel greater fulfilment. It could just be their personality type, some people tend to pessimism more than others. Your work environment might be the negative source and while leaving is an option, it can take time and if you are in an area with high unemployment it might not be viable. Often we can’t choose to completely remove negativity from our lives.
However we can choose to create a stellar positive personal team to help counteract the negativity and keep us from being dragged down.
Why do I need a team?
Simon Cotterrel from Interbrand, a brand analytics firm, said it best while referring to Lego’s success:
“What’s made them successful over the past 10 years is their ability to create …. by partnering with brilliant people” *
Our ability to create – new ideas, a happier life, a healthier life, a life of purpose, a life of joy, strength to get through the day, whatever you want – will be successful when we partner with brilliant people. Our environment and who we surround ourselves with can be the difference between being successful, whatever that looks like to you, or not.
I recently shared a quote on Facebook by Dutch inspirational speaker, Alexander den Heijer, which sums it up really well: “When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower”
Creating your own team
I’ll bet you are thinking I’m going to mention my bestie, my BFF, hubby or work buddies and yes, while they are a vital and amazing part of my team, there are many people out there who don’t have a close friend, partner or someone they feel a close connection to at work, so I’d like to show you how to think outside of the box while creating a team. These ideas may surprise and hopefully inspire you.
I’m sure it needs no introduction, but Youtube has a massive library of videos given by inspirational and motivated people. I personally love Yoga with Adriene, she is a funny and positive yoga instructor and has gotten me into an amazing head space countless times. Plus I’m getting awesome biceps!
Tips for building a Youtube team:
- Create your own account, don’t worry you don’t have to post videos.
- Create playlists with categories that inspire you.
- Search for videos in those categories
- Once you have watched a video, save it to your playlist for easy access.
- Subscribe to users that motivate you. You can even set up to receive notifications when they post videos.
Books are where I source the consultants on my team. John Adair wrote a great book called ‘Effective Time Management’ He thought me to use time set aside for routine daily tasks, like washing dishes or getting dressed to good use. Because of his advice, I downloaded a voice recorder app and I have recorded countless blog/business ideas while getting dressed. He also inspired me to buy a decent chair for my home office.
Having rediscovered my love for books, the following quote by Charles Tremendous Jones really resonates with me: “Five years from today you will be the same person you are today, except for the books you read and the people you meet”
Tips for building a book team:
- Books can be expensive so instead of buying, use the local library.
- Read with a notebook and jot down what inspires you.
- Look into the author’s other work or references.
- Set aside time for reading.
I am very blessed to have an uplifting and hope-filled media source to listen to. In fact this blog post was conceived off the back of a segment on the radio. The radio station has become a key team player, not only giving me entertainment but also creating a sense of community and like-mindedness.
If this is not available to you another option is music. From Eye of the Tiger to get you running up a long flight of stairs to Destiny’s Child Survivor, you can create a playlist of team members that will give you that spark you need to be all you can be.
Tips for building a radio/music team:
- Try to incorporate a bit of music into everyday, in the car, while getting ready, heck even singing in the shower.
- Be conscious of what you are listening to. If your music makes you feel worthless then get some new tunes.
- Be aware of the emotions attached to the music, if a certain song makes you feel great, what it is you are feeling or picturing when you are listening to it and how does that help you get motivated.
You don’t need to be a scientist to know that music and memory are closely linked and certain songs can become powerful allies.
My memento team is made up of cards I have received from people in the past, specifically when they have said something nice. Looking back on what other people thought of me, especially during a particularly dark day can really inspire me to be the person they wrote about.
Mementos don’t have to be cards, they can be photographs, Facebook posts, emails, letters, a postcard or object, basically anything that helps you connect to a happy and inspired place.
Tips for building a memento team:
- Keep your keepsakes in one spot so you can get to them easily when needed.
- If you are worried about clutter, take photographs and store them on your phone/computer
- Don’t think of it as being vain, accepting that people love you is not vanity but self-love.
- Be generous in giving out mementos of your own, writing an inspired card of love to others may just help others return the favour.
Communities can mean different things to different people. It may be your local community centre, I spent many a happy yoga hour at my local centre when I first arrived in Australia, a common interest group, a Google+ community or a Facebook group. Also think about the people around you, the person who works at your local supermarket or serves you coffee each morning, the staff at your favourite take-away.
My hairdresser is part of my community team, as my self-reflection touch point. Every 8 weeks I get to give her a summary of what has been going on and this is not only therapeutic but allows me to trace the good in my life on a regular basis.
There are so many ways in which we can connect with others and while you might not have considered these examples to be part of a personal team, but they certainly can be. Their role may be small, it might just be a greeting or remembering your order, but as you start to notice your team, the positivity in your life grows and this allows more space for more team members.
Tips for building a community team:
- Awareness! Start to think about those regulars you see in your daily goings on.
- Get involved. If you are interested in something, say gardening, see what is out there for you to get involved with, like a gardening group or community garden.
- Acknowledge your team. Remember to say hello, spend those 2-3 minutes asking how their day is going and make small talk.
- Don’t be afraid to open up. While you might not want to tell your butcher your life story, sharing a few personal details and connecting will benefit both of you.
Parting words of wisdom.
A bit of advice regarding finding your best friend, the VIP of your team, is to be open to it. Friendships are often found in the most unlikely of places and take time and effort. As you expand your team and become aware of how many positives surround you, it will uplift you and you will start to attract the right kind of people into your life.
Life is a great balancing act and if you find yourself in a situation where you have a lot of negativity in your environment, I hope this post has given you some ideas on creating a positive space for yourself.
Let me know in the comments who makes up your stellar positive personal team. Take care team builders.
Looking for a new team member, subscribe to my blog, I’d be happy to share some positivity with you!
~ Allison, called Binney